Stefania’s Testimony

Hello my name is Stef and this is is my testimony.

I was born in a non-Christian home. I grew up Catholic, but was not a “practising” Catholic. I have always believed God existed, but due to attending a Catholic school, I ddint comprehend Jesus’ role of the crucifixion as this was not something explained.

Fast forward to few years ago, my mum became a Christian and she would explain some things to me about Christianity. My first time attending a Christian church I was reluctant, but it was mother’s day and felt bad saying no so I went. Since then I would sometimes go along with mum. The sermons and conversations with people in the church explained to me the gravity of our sin, God’s love for us, Christ’s reason for dying on the cross and God wanting a relationship with us. This was something that was not taught in Catholic school and I began to make sense of the Bible and why Catholics called it “the good news” bible. I remember also around this time having the thought creeping in of the possibility of being away from God once I died, not for a few days but for eternity and this was a great fear to me.

In my eyes I thought I was a good person, however, I was a sinner, and still am a sinner, who was in a helpless state and desperately needed a Saviour.

Its hard to say when I became a Christian, but I would say that I first trusted in the Lord and accepted his free gift of salvation back in January of 2017. It was a big shift for me as I had grown up very different and now would need to undo certain habits in order to be obedient before God but also to reflect Christ. I would beat myself up because I couldnt reach perfection. I felt like I kept failing God all the time and had thought like maybe “i don’t love God” or maybe “God doesn’t love me because of my failures.”

My favourite verse has always been Ephesians 2:8-10, about our salvation being because of God’s grace and through our faith, not because of our works. This verse I knew intellectually but overtime I became aware that this had not become a reality in my heart. I knew then that salvation wasn’t the result of works, but my desire with trying to reach perfection made me realise that maybe I was trying to put all this on myself. I felt just like Paul in Romans where he says - “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.” A few verses later he also says “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”. I could really resonate with this.

I kept missing an essential point, that Christ was, is and will be the only man with righteous and perfect life. I had and have a desire to obey but then I was chasing after the wind and focusing solely on becoming the impossibility of perfection, when instead, I should have surrendered it to the Lord, in His righteousness and blood as that is what covers me.

Overtime, God has shown and continuous to show me all the flaws that I was blind to, His love for me, His presence when I am lonely, God has changed my way of thinking, my overall viewpoint of life, and provided me with a purpose. Despite still being a sinner and not perfect I continue to come to the cross for repentance. Daily the Lord shows me the ugly: how short I fall and how wretched I am, and the good:, humbling me and displaying His mercy, grace and my Saviour’s sacrificial love form me. I am not perfect, but praise God that I am his work in progress and am slowly being sanctified.

So i stand here today to get baptised, and declare to you that Jesus is my Lord and Saviour in whom I delight, believe in and trust.